It use to be that my Christian appearances were simple enough to demonstrate to others my love for Jesus. All I would needed were a couple of bumper stickers that got the message out to everyone who passed by it parked at the grocery store, or who were following me way too closely. But, now I recognize how bumper stickers are just so last year. With today's technology, we've got so much more to worry about... like the dreaded facebook friend request from my pastor. I mean…MY PASTOR…for crying out loud! Talk about being put in a tough spot! If I didn't accept it, he would probably call me out in front of the whole congregation telling them that they needed to pray for me, because I was the actual person being referenced in the Bible when it says, 'Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners.'" On the other hand, if I accepted his friend request, he would know that the halo above my head in church was actually just stolen from my kids Halloween (please read “Fall Festival”) costume.
So, I thought maybe a little research would be in order. I mean how bad could my facebook posts really be anyway? I mean…I’m only just another Christian on facebook,… I'm sure my facebook statuses wouldn't be too bad... right? I thought that maybe it would be a good idea to review my statuses over the past 30 days to see what kind of intellectual, spiritual, and stimulating stuff my pastor would see if I chose to befriend him. I didn't have to go too far because the last one I posted right before his friend request was to call another lady in the church a "grey haired mule" when I wished her a happy birthday. It is true that it cost me valuable points with that woman (she really needs to develop a sense of humor),…but, surely it earned me some honesty points with my pastor because he knows her as well… and has to realize that under that hair dye,… she could be Bob Barker.
A little farther back, I found one that could probably use some explaining. I was cheering for the Bears and my buddy was a Packer fan and the loser was going to have to praise the other's masculinity (sounds fruity I know, but it was his idea). So THAT is why I posted that we was even more manly than RuPaul. If nothing else, that ought to test my pastor in the whole non-judgmental and forgiveness thing, right?
Who am I kidding,…I best just accept his friend request,… put out a quick post that read, "Golly, there aren't enough hours in the day to read my Bible.” Maybe that will be sufficient to protect me from guilt inducing comments from him on my status updates.
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