FORGOTTEN PROMISES

“For You have heard my vows, O God; You have given me the inheritance of those who fear Your name.“ Psalm 61:5

I can remember it like it was yesterday. Our kids were little, and my wife’s sisters had done a pretty good job in keeping up with growing their families as well. There were nephews and nieces all over the place. We all decided to take a family trip…including all the in laws (and outlaws) to Six Flags in St. Louis. You know what I’m talking about…the whole family heads off for a weekend of rides, game booths, and lots and lots of food. You just buy your tickets, and take the kids on ride after ride until you either puke or pass out. 

Having consumed more than my share of hotdogs and other various treats, I found myself with my darling daughter in front of the line to the Screaming Eagle roller coaster. I could tell she didn’t really want to go on it, but her adventurous cousins did. So, Sara being the oldest felt compelled to take on that monster. The dads were then drafted to ride along (as if we could do anything to protect our little darlin’s from meeting an untimely end on this monster of a machine.) 

Now, I’ve never been particularly fond of carnival rides…especially roller coasters. I know that for some people its like heaven come down to earth to race around a tiny track at speeds no one should ever go, in what seemed to be nothing more than a bunch of little wagons connected to each other. Little did I know what awaited me. As soon as the ride started moving I realized I had made a terrible mistake. The climb to the top was slow and torturous. But, that was the last of anything that could be considered slow about it. My head started spinning. My stomach started spinning. The hot dog and bag of cotton candy that I had eaten earlier began looking for the nearest exit. I screamed!…I cried! All I wanted was for the ride TO STOP!!! (all while trying to hide my terror from my daughter). And then, it happened. In the middle of all my pain and peril I petitioned the Divine One for His merciful intervention.  “God, save me!!!… Get me off this ride and I will do anything!!!… ANYTHING!!!… Just do something!!!”  Thankfully, the ride came to an end in the next few moments. I pulled myself out of the seat, vowing to never do that again. And then, just like we so often do…I quickly forgot about my promise to God and off on my next adventure.

I suppose most of you can probably guess the point of what I’m trying to say. We have all been there at some time in our lives. Life is sometimes like a roller coaster…racing around, up and down, sometimes even spinning out of control. The thrill we had initially anticipated had given way to trials and testings. The situation we were in was making us sick. Our circumstances had brought us to tears. All we wanted was for it to end. And so, we began to bargain with God. We promised Him anything and everything if He would just intervene. “God, I will serve you. I will obey. I will stop. I will change. I will go. I will give. Whatever you want. Wherever you want me to go. Just SAVE me!!!

Maybe the circumstances surrounding your own vows and promises weren’t so dramatic. Maybe it was simply part of an expression of gratitude. But, in a moment of emotion you told God the same words. The music had been moving. The preaching had been passionate. The call had been clear. And maybe you went to the altar, or stood at your seat…but, you promised God the sky and the moon because of all that He had done for you. “God, I will serve you. I will obey. I will stop. I will change. I will go. I will give. Whatever you want. Wherever you want me to go. Just USE me!!!” And, in that moment you really meant it….with all your heart. But now, years that have passed and you have long since forgotten the promises of that special time when you called out to God.

What about you today? Now that God has showered His mercy and grace upon you, have you kept your word? Have you fulfilled your vows? Or have you just moved on to the next great adventure? The Bible gives us serious word of warning in Ecclesiastes 5:1-5: “When you make a vow to God, do not be late in paying it; for He takes no delight in fools. Pay what you vow! It is better that you should not vow than that you should vow and not pay.” We all want God to hear our cries for help. But, we must understand that the same God who hears our cries also hears our vows. We often forget that our words have value, and our promises carry tremendous power and potential.   Spend some time alone with God and let Him take you back today….back to that time when your life was out of control…. Do you remember?   Do you remember when you cried out and He heard you?   He saved you.   He kept His word.   Only one question remains…Have we kept ours?

HOLINESS IS WHAT I LONG FOR

There is a great song that Sonicflood does that has the lyrics “Holiness, holiness is what I long for.” Those words speak to my soul because we ought to be holy and blameless, It is something we all naturally desire because it is seared into our hearts. I remember back at the moment I became reborn in Christ. There was a depth of joy, and peace, and a wholeness of the love of Christ that flooded over me. It wasn't just some sort of feeling. It was something that simply enveloped me and completed me. I can’t help but grin from ear to ear as I think of it today. I remember how I couldn't wait to go to church to worship. I clung on to every Word that came from the Bible,…I looked forward to the next teaching Pastor Rudd would bring from the pulpit. I had never enjoyed reading before, but the Bible and great books from outstanding Christian authors became important to feed on. I grabbed every opportunity to serve and to help at church. I had a really good time. No one knew me or even cared who I was…and it was all okay! I was just another happy Christian!

I think in those early days of my new life I even had a grip on holiness…I just didn't know it. I didn’t realize it was something special because in my mind, that's just how it's meant to be. There were so many saints around me and I was learning from them. While I was of course a work in progress (and, if I am to be painfully honest, it appears that I still am, very much so), the joy of a personal relationship with Jesus made thoughts of sinning the furthest thing from my mind. I had no desire or appetite for it.

Then church happened. There came a time when I became noticed by church leaders and elders (as well as the people who thought of themselves as elders and appointed themselves as such,…I think you know the people I am talking about). Suddenly it began to matter what I wore, how I looked, who my friends were in church and even who I sat with during services. Up until that point I was in a place of such delight in my Savior, that I was blind to the undercurrents of church politics and the modern day Pharisees that are in our midst. I ran into religiosity. I was suddenly under scrutiny… not by the light of the Jesus…but by the eyes of man.

I have a dear friend and mentor who tells of how a tie tac was preached right off his tie (and it was a pretty nice tie tac). I suppose I began to wonder why should it matter if I tuck my shirt in or not? Isn't it okay if I wear jeans? They are pretty decent you know,… they don’t have too many rips or tears. So what if I am wearing a plain old t-shirt? Does being trendy mean I am not holy enough? And, what does it matter if I sit with someone with less than a great reputation in church? I mean, someone's gonna have to sit with that person…right? I just attended a seminar where the speaker challenged us with the question… “How many non-Christian friends other than family do you meet with?” How are we to be salt and light if we don’t associate with non-Christians, or even the Christian wannabes?

The Bible tells us “not to conform to the world but be transformed” (Romans 12:2). I am fearful that a version of the world exists in our churches also. This is the world of false religion that tries to fit us into a standard mold of its own definition. I found myself being conformed to legalism and I hated it. I began to experience striving to attain, rather than the joy of experiencing God, and I found myself struggling between law and grace.

Nothing changed inside me. I wanted to be holy. I desired it more than ever, and religion seemed to offer the direction. However, I also recognized how the Pharisees followed this path of religiousness, and it did not lead them closer to God. I continued even with tireless service, but it became burdensome and strained, because religion weighs a ton. Even the lightest load would get pretty heavy when we bear something long enough. The joy of my First Love was being squeezed out by do's and don’ts. His yoke is supposed to be easy and light (Matthew 11:30). It is not supposed to weigh a ton. So I gave up that burden, and embraced grace. His yoke is still a yoke, and I have chosen to be yoked to Jesus. I love being in a personal relationship with Him. What a relief when He carries my burdens. His friendship and His thoughts of me is now what defines me. I don’t have to worry about what others think about me any longer. That’s what happens when God is BIG and people are SMALL (“Thanks” to my friend for the book and His wise counsel on that!). He fights those battles for me now. I just need to follow His instructions, love God, love people, serve Him, and live righteously (Deuteronomy 10:12-13).

I freed myself from religious expectations (both those imposed by others, and those imposed on myself) and I am back where I should be with my First Love. I found the same grace I experienced when I first became reborn! And, what about holiness? Well, I may have a better grasp of it than ever before…I still seek it, I long for it, and I am growing in it. I think that's what transformation is. It is from the inside out, and it frees us.

There is always this question of law versus grace that seems to come up again and again. But, why does law have to be at odds with grace anyway? Jesus wasn't at odds with the law (although He didn't like religious legalism). Jesus came to fulfill the law (Matthew 5:17). The law teaches us and leads us to Christ (Galatians 3:24). The Old Testament is not at odds with the New Testament. The Law has never been changed and it never will according to Matthew 5:18. But grace gives me life with my First Love . It doesn’t have to be one over the other. We debate grace versus law only to go around in circles. I don’t know, maybe that is just the point of it. Law and Grace exist in harmony and cannot be separated. Maybe we should just accept the law as the written moral compass and grace as our truth about it.

We should just be holy because God is holy, and we should do His will because that is what we long for. Law and grace…it works together.

Holiness, Holiness is what I long for…
Holiness is what I need….
Holiness is what You want from me…