As Father’s Day weekend approaches…I found myself reflecting on what a blessing God gave me in allowing me to be a Dad. It has been a true joy. I heard it said that “What you're never told is that fatherhood is ‘for life.’” Your children never want you to think of them as children, but to you they always are. Whatever their age and in whatever circumstances, you remain responsible and always available. Gradually they adopt the same thought about you.”
Another old saying says, “Any man can be a father, but it takes a special person to be a dad.” I never thought much about being a father, or even about whether my own father was a father or a dad, until I was an adult. But, I think that once you’re an adult, you have the wisdom to see your father for what he is and was, and what he does, or has done for you and your family, over the years. I hope that when that analysis for me as a dad comes to my daughters, it will be one of cherished smiles and great memories.
Thinking back on the earliest days after Sara and Erica were born, I can remember how they just filled our days! But, they also strengthened the bond between their mom and I, as we worked through the nights they captured with late night feedings and diaper changes. That’s what moms and dads do…they make room for these helpless and innocent creatures in their lives, regardless of how difficult and taxing it can be. Yet, my girls could do no wrong. Connie and I loved them, nurtured them, and tried to give them all that we could. As they began to grow, all we could see were bright futures ahead for them.
As toddlers, they were so precious! As they grew into childhood, we recognized just how bright they were. I loved the “daddy date nights” when we got to just hang out for a bowl of jello at their favorite restaurant, or a movie, or just shopping. I enjoyed so much that look on their face when I caught them looking up to me expectantly for a word of praise or even a hint of a smile, to let them know that, yes, I had seen their effort on the swim team, or the tennis court, or on the softball team….and I was proud of them regardless of the outcome.
When the teenage years came, we discovered their willfulness, as they began to stretch their boundaries,…but what a joy it was to be their dad! Through high school, they both just shined! Not only were they both excellent students, but they were so grounded. Their friends were a joy to be around, and they knew and demonstrated what it meant to be a true friend to others. When we dropped them off at college, they tears flowed until we were 50 miles away, not because of sadness, but because of the wonderful young women we were so blessed with, and the pride that swelled inside us to see them moving into a new and exciting place in their lives. Those college years were a growing time for both our daughters and us, as Connie and I learned life with just the two of us again, and as Sara and Erica learned how to become independent.
The years slipped by so quickly when we proudly watched them graduate with high honors from college, ready to start life, and all it was to bring for them. The time came too soon when their longing to be free would materialize. They had learned how to talk, how to walk, and how to run. And, now they were ready to fly…and to care for themselves.
But, even after that walk down the aisle with his precious daughter on his arm… remembering all the memories that they had shared growing up… a father's heart does not forget that these are his “little girls.” He knew they were different from all those other father’s girls, because they were his. Planted in them were seeds of dreams and plans for the future. And, now has come the time to wander out in search of their dreams…with another man in their life. Nothing can stop them, not love, not money, not even teams of wild horses! They had grown up. And, it was time to leave their mom and dad’s embrace.
I really can’t say that a father’s love is greater than that of the mother’s. The roles of dads and moms in a child’s life complements each other. One can nurture, and support, and encourage, while the other can discipline, instruct and protect. They both just affect their children differently. And, while children can find the heart and inspiration in life from their mothers, they can find the strength and will to live a good life from a father’s love. So, while I can’t say a father’s love is greater than that of the mother’s…I can say that Moms already got their shot on Mother’s Day…this weekend is all Dad’s!
Daddy’s heart still breaks when he sees when they hurt, and he has great joy when he sees them happy. But he tries to step back into shadows to allow them space to be the great daughters…and now wives and mothers…that they have grown to be. But, shadows or not, there remains a love that only a father can give. The love that always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. The love that never fails. No man will ever love my daughters the way their dad does.
Sometimes dads don’t say, "I love you" as often as we should, though the feelings are always there. He tries to speak his love unselfishly by giving all he can to make his daughter’s, (or son’s) dreams come true. Sometimes the love that dads feel is just too big for words, yet a father’s love is irreplaceable…it's real, and it’s true. A father's kiss is pure. It comes from the one man who will always be there…full of love for his girls. There is nothing he wants more than to bring hope, joy, and faith to those daughters he loves so much.
As a dad I hope to always be the friend my daughters need when they have no one to turn to, knowing I will support all their dreams… no matter what. When they need to cry, I want to have a shoulder ready. When they laugh, I want to laugh with them. Sorry girls….there is no replacement or substitute…I’m the one you are stuck with! You have one father. But, know that even if you ever think the world has turned its back on you…your Dad will always be there for you.
"Thank you God, for the priviledge and honor of being a father to such wonderful women. Amen"
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