Dear Connie,
I was sitting here at my desk working, and began to think of you and how precious you are to me and my ministry. I believe that very few understand the pressure of being a pastor’s wife. Higher expectations are often placed on you more than anyone else in the church. Your life is more public than you likely would have ever chosen it to be. You receive more scrutiny than others. I know there are times of loneliness because you often have to share me with others as I attend my meetings and other functions that take me away from home. You are expected to endure when my hours are long; you shoulder my pressures; you feel my disappointments; and, you suffer my defeats, probably as profoundly and as deeply as I do. And yet, you shoulder your role. Your beautiful smile speaks more powerfully to people than all of the words that pour from my mouth.
I’m learning from you how to be a better pastor, and hopefully how to be a better husband. You challenge me to be a man more like Jesus. I know that being a pastor’s wife was the farthest thing from your mind when we started our life journey together almost 39 years ago. But, I have no doubt God made you to be a pastor’s wife. Now…why He chose to bless me with you,… I do not know. But, God gave you this desire for me that is without explanation. Your love for me is a picture of God’s grace in my life.
Remembering some of the lessons I learned in my earlier years in the jewelry industry, I can say you handle the pressure of being a pastor’s wife with the skill of a master watchmaker. You have a sense of understanding the delicateness of all the relationships in the church, understanding how each gear turns another, and how each part affects another. I know I don’t always show the greatest mercy in my conversation, but you help me learn how to have more tact when I speak.
God’s grace just seems to shine through you as you manage the scrutiny of being a pastor’s wife. Though I cannot share with you every private matter in the church, I count on you to be my outlet for stress. It is only God’s grace in your life that explains how you can diffuse my ministry stress, understanding when I need a word of encouragement, or simply a time of quiet. You are the one who listens to my dreams for the church and helps me to look into the future and see those dreams become a reality. You gracefully love others the way Christ loved. I’m learning about God’s grace more and more through you.
I am thankful for the way you live out the higher expectations placed upon you…not because of what others may think or expect,…but because you live them out for Jesus. You’re a godly, (though sometimes slightly stubborn) woman. And, I love you, Connie. You make me want to boldly live the Apostle Paul’s words in Ephesians 5:25, when he wrote… “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her.” I am blessed to have you on this journey with me.
Love, John
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